


After The Fall

by jo_coztal



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
Genre: Drama & Romance, F/M, Gen, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-03
Updated: 2019-05-03
Packaged: 2020-02-16 17:07:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18695731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jo_coztal/pseuds/jo_coztal
Summary: Lillian Hawke, the younger sister of the Champion of Kirkwall, has a quiet sort of strength.  This is her story.  Takes place after Dragon Age 2, with flashback sequences to cover key events during the game.  This is not a DA2 retelling.  Fenris/OC; M!Hawke/Anders





	After The Fall

Lilly felt a tear sliding quickly across her face as she clung tightly to man who sat in front of her, the pair racing through the night on the back of a sturdy Ferelden Forder.  The horse's hooves clapped loudly as they hit ground, the only sound she could hear over the wind rushing past her.  Keeping her eyes shut tightly, she pressed her forehead into the space between the man's shoulders, the coarse fabric of his cloak rough against her skin, the scent of him comforting in the way it always had been... but not enough to calm the erratic beating of her heart.   _How had it come to this?_

The unnatural red glow of the city was still shining the night sky behind them, she knew, but she refused to look back.

* * *

#####  **Seven Years Earlier**

Lillian Elsa Hawke, youngest child of Malcolm and Leandra Hawke, had always felt different.  Not in the way her brother and sister were, of course.  Garrett and Bethany were _truly_ different - gifted by the Maker with magic, just as their father had been... and also not different in the way of her brother Carver, who stood unique in their family for his quick temper and aggressive swordsmanship.

No, Lillian was different for the fact that she didn’t stand out at all.  She was reserved, often lost in her thoughts.  She was usually found with charcoal smudges on her fingertips and face from the whimsical drawings she sketched out on spare pieces of parchment; or with her face shoved in a book, her weak eyes requiring the pages to be within inches of her face for the words to become clear.

That was how she'd first met them, in fact - a book close to her face, her eyes dancing across the page in erratic movements as she read the words with keen interest.  If not for Garrett's booming voice and the feel of Carver's hand ruffling her hair, Lilly might not have realized they had returned to Gamlen's house at all.

"What are you reading, Pup?"  Carver had crouched down beside her chair and pulled the book away from her so he could glance at the pages, "Nothing naughty, right?"

Lillian blushed, "Carver!" Closing the book with a snap, she glanced over her shoulder into her brother's smiling face, "Of course it isn't naughty!"

"Leave her alone, Carver."  The disapproval in Garrett's voice caused both of his siblings to glance his way, which was when Lilly realized they'd brought other people to the house with them.  Carver was responding with some passive aggressive comment or another, as he always did, but Lilly had tuned her brother's voices out and examined their companions closely, her eyes squinting as she attempted to focus on them from a distance.

The first was a tall blonde man wearing threadbare robes with feathers for pauldrons - she guessed the garment had been of fine quality once, but he'd worn it for so long that it had begun to fall apart... of course, with her vision what it was, she couldn't be entirely sure.  He was watching her brothers with a smirk, his arms crossed at his chest.  There was something unsettling about him, though Lillian couldn't quite put her finger on the reason why.

The other man was standing silently in the shadows by the doorway, the dim lighting combined with her poor vision making him especially difficult to see.  Garrett was standing between her and the hidden man so Lilly leaned slightly to the side to get a better view of the him.  She was fairly certain that she saw pointed ears in his silhouette and he had what looked like a large sword strapped to his back... were his feet bare?   _Definitely an elf_ , she decided.  She couldn't see his face, but the way he held himself spoke of discomfort - he didn't want to be here.

It was then that Lilly remembered her manners.  "Would your friends like some food?  Mother is out with Gamlen at the market but I can get some bread and cheese," she made eye contact with the blonde man and glanced into the shadows as if to welcome the elf further inside.

"Thank you, milady, that would be--" the blonde man had smiled at her, a rather charming smile if she was honest with herself, before the elven man had interrupted, stepping only the slightest bit forward, bringing his white hair and squared jaw out of the shadows.

"We have duties to attend to, _Mage_ ," his deep voice was gruff and he said the word 'mage' with such disdain that Lilly nearly felt affronted on Garrett's behalf, "you can eat later."  His gaze was locked on the blonde man's face and he wore the fiercest scowl Lilly had ever seen.

"Now, now, Fenris.  Your barking is frightening the lady," the other man replied, a hand gesturing in Lilly's direction.

"I'll wait outside." Abruptly turning around, the elf stalked out of the house, shutting the door firmly behind him.

Uncertain if she'd offended the man or not, Lilly glanced questioningly in Carver's direction.  "Don't worry, sister.  The elf is like that all the time."

"His name is Fenris," Garrett added, stepping closer to her and glancing to the blonde man, "and this is Anders.  They'll both be working with us for a while."

"A pleasure," Anders supplied, along with a courtly bow, "Hawke mentioned he had a sister, but he never said how lovely you were."

He winked at her and had a scandalous looking smirk on his face before Carver was suddenly standing between Lilly and Anders, blocking the Mage from view, "If you want your eyes to remain in your skull, you'll stop staring at my sister like that!"

"By the Maker, would you two stop it?"  Garrett had stepped between them now, his thickly muscled arms positioned so as to block Carver from charging at the other man.

Lilly rolled her eyes and rose from her chair, "Carver, please.  I'm more than capable of fending off polite compliments."

"That was _not_ polite, sister," Carver bit out, his eyes not leaving Anders.

"I highly doubt Anders meant any offense," Garrett added, seeming to find the situation equal parts annoying and amusing.

Lilly stepped around Carver and did her best imitation of a lady's curtsy, exaggerating the motion with a dramatic sweep of her arms, "The pleasure is mine, Serrah."

Anders' smile widened, "See?  She likes me!"

Carver growled.

Little did Lilly know at the time, but she'd just met the two people who would forever change her life, for good or ill.  Such a monumental occasion, almost forgettable in it's mundaneness.

* * *

#####  **Present Day**

"Here, you need to drink," his rough voice broke through the silence as Lillian stared off into the blackness of night that surrounded them.  She wasn't quite sure where they were, only certain that it was somewhere she'd never been before.  They'd gone North out of Kirkwall, staying off the main roads, "Lillian, please.   _Drink_."

She glanced down a saw a gloved hand holding a leather water pouch in front of her, which she numbly reached for.  Without raising the pouch to her lips, she turned her eyes back to the darkness and stared.

"Lillian.  Please, you need to drink," he sounded concerned now... Maker's balls _she_ was concerned now.  After all that had happened?  She was frightened out of her mind - her entire world had crumbled before her very eyes and she had no idea what her future held now.

"Look at me."

She turned to look at him, her entire body still except for the craning of her neck.  He was the only thing she could see clearly, being as close to her as he was.  His hair had a way of glowing in the dark, as if the paleness of it rejected the shadow.  The markings that snaked across his skin were silent though, the blue glow she’d seen earlier that evening now invisible to the naked eye.

"What are you thinking?" he asked, concern still clear in his tone.

"That you never asked permission to marry me."

Whatever he'd expected her to say, that clearly wasn't it.  His body jolted slightly, muscles going tense, "Lilly..."

"You were going to, weren't you?"  Her voice was hoarse from the screaming... she'd been in Hightown when it happened.  The fact that she was even alive right now was a miracle.

"Does it matter?  We may never see him again," Fenris sounded resigned.  He and Garrett had a very complicated friendship over the years, often butting heads over the issue of Mage freedom, but their mutual respect was clear.  Garrett had even seemed to approve of Lilly's affection for the elf, if only concerned for the greater societal opinion of elves and how that would impact Lilly's future should she decide to remain with Fenris for good... and Garrett was an Apostate in love with another Apostate, of course, so he felt a bit hypocritical to judge Lillian's choice of partner.

Lilly was silent, doing her best not to crumble from the emotions threatening to overwhelm her.  She wasn't a weak woman - she wasn't a warrior or pirate or anything like that, but she had her own sort of quiet strength.  She'd always kept a level head, even in the worst of times... even after they had lost Mother.

"Do you really think we'll never see him again?"

"If they survived the confrontation with Meredith, he and Anders will be hunted.  There's no stopping that now.  He'll stay far away from you so long as that danger is following him." His voice had changed, bitter resentment clear.  After seeing the destruction of the Chantry and Garrett's willingness to protect Anders even after the horror he'd committed - while still not knowing whether Lilly was safe - had disgusted him.

She still hadn't heard the full story, only bits and pieces, but she knew with certainty that Fenris had gone to Hightown to find her by himself.  Garrett had stayed behind... with Anders... and that fact had broken a small piece of her heart.

She supposed she understood - it had been years, after all, since Anders and Garrett had realized they loved each other.   She'd been so incredibly happy for him - for both of them.  Anders had even lived with them... She sighed heavily, "I'll miss them... even though I know I shouldn't."

Fenris let out a noncommittal sound, seeming to understand yet still disapprove of Lilly's comment.  She knew he was angry - more angry than she'd ever seen him - but there was little she could do.  She refused to lie.  She _would_ miss Garrett - he was the only family she had left... and Anders.  He'd been a friend, if a very troubled one.  Lilly had always worried for him.

But that was in the past.  "You didn't answer my question, Fenris."  The elf beside her was silent, even his breathing too quiet for her to hear.  Lilly sighed heavily squinted into the darkness that surrounded them, "Where are we going?  Do you even know?"

She felt Fenris shift, getting the impression that he preferred this line of questioning over a potential discussion of their relationship, "Sebastian left Kirkwall before we did.  He plans to retake Starkhaven and I intend to assist him."

Lilly furrowed her brow in confusion, "But I thought he had decided to remain with the Chantry?"

"He changed his mind when the _abomination_ killed the Grand Cleric," his voice had taken that hard edge to it once again - very similar to the tone it took when discussing his former master, Danarius.  "He will march on Kirkwall if the Templars are unable to contain the rebellion.  Most certainly he will pursue Anders."

"That's a shame," Lilly replied sadly, recalling the many times she'd spoken to the Prince of Starkhaven about his family and his future, "Sebastian doesn’t seem like the kind of man to want a war."

"Your brother forced the issue and he had no other choice."

She frowned, "How is this Garrett's fault?  He cares for Anders, yes, but I can't imagine that he would have helped him do this."  For all that her eldest brother was in love with a crazed apostate, Lilly had to believe that Garrett's moral compass would never have allowed him to massacre innocents.

"He spared him!  Can't you see the fault in _that_?  He spent the better part of a decade surrounding himself with blood mages and abominations, Lillian."  While he hadn't raised his voice, she knew the elf beside her was having trouble maintaining his composure.

"I wasn't there.  I have no idea what must have gone through Garrett's mind when he realized what Anders had done.  He cares deeply for him, you know that."

"And you are his _sister_!" Fenris stood and began to pace in the dark, "He never once mentioned going to search for you!  He knew you were near the blast, _they both did,_ and they didn't go to find you!"

She felt the words like a punch to the gut.  Lilly had tried to ignore it - she'd even attempted to excuse the action, though she was finding it difficult too.  Garrett would have known that Fenris would find her, she'd rationalized - He would have known she'd be taken care of, so he had to protect Anders... _Maker help him_ , _no one else would have_.

"Carver didn't come to find me either, Fenris.  You said he was there too.  Are you angry with him as well?"  It had been harder to accept that Carver hadn't come looking for her than Garrett, if Lilly were completely honest with herself.  Garrett had been Bethany's protector - Carver had been hers... ever since they were little.

Fenris growled.  "He had a duty to perform, Lillian.  His purpose there was different.  Garrett had a responsibility to you and he ignored it."

Shaking her head, Lilly knew this conversation was getting them nowhere - they would  talk each other in circles all night at this rate, and she was exhausted beyond measure - far too exhausted to argue.  "Isn't it a Warden's duty to protect the world from the darkspawn?  Were there darkspawn in Kirkwall tonight as well?"

"Of course not, but--" Fenris paused and ceased his pacing, "I'm… I’m sorry."

"Sit with me, Fenris."

When he had returned to her side, sitting next to her in the dark, she leaned into him and closed her eyes.  If nothing else, they still had each other.  That was something at least, wasn't it?

"Thank you for saving me, Fenris.  For coming to find me."

He wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her more closely to his side, "I'll always come for you."

* * *

#####  **Six hours earlier**

Lilly coughed again and again, the air hot and painful as she did her best to breathe.  Between gulping breaths and pained coughs, she screamed.  She was stuck between the wall of the estate's entryway and the large table that should have been on the opposite side of the room, covered in the charred remains of her brother's letters and correspondence.

She didn't know how long she screamed - at first she screamed for help, then she screamed for Julius, the family mabari.  No one had replied.  No one had come to help her.

The world around her had turned red and orange and hot - she didn't know what had happened, only that she'd been in front of the fire, mending one of Garrett's shirts, when the world had begun to shake.  Then a roar sounded and Lilly had woken up to see the estate in ruins around her, trapped and unable to move.

"Help!" she screamed again, pushing with all of her strength to free herself from the wreckage, "Bodahn!  Are you there?  Sandal?!"  She coughed again and, despite her best efforts, she was unable to break free from the tight space... she could no longer feel her feet and her legs felt as though they were being slowly crushed.

She'd heard screams from far away when she'd first awoken, but whoever had been making the noise... they were silent now.  She closed her eyes and felt the wet track of tears on her cheeks, thinking that this must really be it - No one would find her.  The crackle of flames had been growing steadily louder, and if the heat in the air was any indication, the fire would reach her soon.

"I'm not ready," she whispered hoarsely, her throat aching painfully, "I don't want to die."

She struggled once more, using all of her upper body strength to shove against the table in front of her, but it refused to budge.  She let out growl of frustration before another wave of coughing hit her, smoke continuing to billow in the air around her.

It was then, amidst the coughing and the struggling, that she heard a voice.  She didn't know what it said or where it was coming from, but she made every strangled noise she could, hoping beyond hope that whoever it was would hear her, "Pl--please!  Help!"

The voice continued, but it was distorted and sounded strange.  Looking from side to side, Lilly tried to see if anyone was near, but the blurry view of the world around her, impaired even further by thick, black smoke, revealed nothing.

"I'm here!" she yelled, before breaking out into even more coughs, her body refusing to cooperate as she tried to call out.  Perhaps it was Orana?  The elven servant had been at the market, last she knew, to pick up a few last minute items before the shops closed for the evening.  Had she come back for her?

Then, without warning, Lilly collapsed forward.  The table that had pinned her to the wall was suddenly gone, someone's arms now wrapped tightly around her as she was pulled out of the estate.  Crying out in shock, the feeling in Lilly's legs began to return and she felt the worst pain she'd ever known in her life. "Please, stop!" she cried out, her voice deep and rough from the smoke.

"We're almost there," a voice replied, though Lilly's mind had a difficult time sorting through voice, the pain in her legs, and the smoke in her lungs.  Her vision grew dark and she fought it, afraid that she'd never wake up if she fell asleep now.

Letting out a pained grunt as her rescuer dropped her gently to the ground, Lilly reached blindly for her legs, needing to feel that they were still there.

"No, don't," she heard a man say, "drink this." She felt something firm and cold press against her mouth as the minty scent of elfroot reached her nose.  A healing potion.  _Thank the Maker_.  The icy liquid soothed her aching throat as she drank, an immediate tingle racing through her as she felt the pain in legs begin to lessen, "Stay still, _vhenan_ , give the potion time to do it's work."

It was then that she knew the voice - recognized the elven endearment he only ever called her when he was certain they were alone.  Glancing toward him, she saw the blue glow of the lyrium markings that covered him, his face contorted with worry.  _Fenris_.

"It hurts," she began with a sob, reaching her sore arms out toward him, feeling her hands bump awkwardly into the wall of his chest, "I thought I was going to die."

He didn't say anything, only lifted yet another bottle to her mouth.  She drank again, feeling another pulse of healing course through her, settling like ice in her damaged legs.  She breathed in, the air still hot and smoky around them, "Garrett?" she asked, turning her head to glance around them, seeing nothing but blurry, unrecognizable shapes, "where is Garrett?"

"He is elsewhere.  We need to move.  Can you stand?"

Lilly still couldn't feel her toes, but a painful tingle had taken over most of her lower legs, making movement painful, "I don't think so," she said with a grimace, "but they're all there, right?  My legs?"

"What?" Fenris had asked in confusion, the blue glow from his skin beginning to dim as he looked down at her lower body, "Your legs?"

"Yes," she nodded, "and my feet.  They're all there?"

"It appears so.  Can you not feel them?"  His voice was laced with concern, his hands reaching to touch her left leg, just below the knee, "They seem to be healing, no more blood at least."

"Blood?" She panicked slightly, lifting herself up onto her elbows as she squinted down toward her feet.  Her lower limbs appeared to be just where they should be, but the torn fabric of her dress was covered in the dark stain of her blood, "Oh, Maker," she whimpered, feeling suddenly sick to her stomach.

"I will carry you.  We must get out of Kirkwall."


End file.
